A Prayer for My Son

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:16-19)

Father in heaven,

I’m sitting on my couch, computer in my lap, with my son laying next to me, playing with his toes. He recently discovered he has toes and has figured out how to get them into his mouth. Of course, since he’s figured it out, he sucks on his toes every chance he gets, giving his father and me lots of laughs. He’s started laughing when we blow zerberts on his belly, and his laughter is contagious, a gift that he gives us. When we hold him close to our faces, he leans in so we can rub noses. He likes to touch my face when I’m feeding him, and he’s starting to give me big, wet, wide-open-mouth kisses. He smiles at me when he sees me. When his daddy talks, he turns to daddy’s voice, and watches daddy very closely. This is a little boy who is loved, and who is learning to love.

My prayer for him today is that he continues to learn to love...that his father and I are models of love for each other, for him, and for You, his heavenly Father. I pray that he is never afraid to show love for others or to speak words of love...that he learns to love without fear. I pray that he knows Your love, Father...that he will know You and abide in you, that he will be perfected in Your love.

Help me to know how to teach him about You; help me to grow in my faith and relationship with You so  I can be a better mom to him. Give me patience during the late nights or the long days and in the times when I just don’t know what else to do for him. Let him know—and help me be able to show—that even in those times when all I want to do is cry myself, I still love him as much as it is possible for an imperfect mom to love.

I love this little guy You have given to me, with his bright blue eyes, rosy round cheeks, and rolls on top of rolls. Keep him safe in the shelter of Your perfect love, Lord.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Rest for the Weary

And he said, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." (Exodus 33:14)

Moses had a tough job leading the people of Israel out of Egypt. To begin with, there were a lot of people, and in addition, he had Pharaoh to contend with. Even once they got free of Pharaoh, the people couldn't be satisfied. They grumbled and complained, and repeatedly forgot all that God had done for them. They turned away from God, they blamed Moses for their troubles, and their unfaithfulness to God resulted in an extremely long journey to the Promised Land. Moses must have been exhausted.

I'm exhausted, and I just have one four month old to contend with. I can't imagine how exhausted those of you with more than one child must be! My little guy, although a generally happy baby, is active. He gets bored easily, so I'm constantly moving him from one activity to the next. He doesn't like to nap and usually only sleeps for half an hour at a time during the day. The only thing (other than eating, which is probably his favorite activity) that seems to keep his attention for a while and wear him out is being outside. We take a lot of walks.

It's nothing like what Moses had to deal with, and yet, there are enough similarities that I feel like Moses must be a kindred spirit for mothers everywhere. And so, this promise God makes to Moses in Exodus 33:14 is one I claim for myself. "My presence will go with you and I will give you rest," God says to Moses.

God is with us as we go throughout our days...as we clean up messes, change diapers, provide entertainment, teach, feed, love...and he provides rest. Sometimes it's the rest of a few quiet moments alone in the bathroom and other times it's the rest of a nap with a sleeping baby lying in our arms.

In your prayers today, remember God's presence. Ask for Him to reveal to you those restful moments. Recognize and celebrate God's presence even in the midst of activity and busyness and occasional chaos. Rejoice in the strength He gives you.

God Loves Imperfect Families

I asked my husband for ideas on what to write for this devotion, and he asked me what I've been reading.

Genesis. You know, the book with all the stories about how Abraham tried to pass Sarah off as his sister, how Lot's daughters tricked him into sleeping with them, how Sarah was jealous of Hagar and sent her away, how Isaac tried to pass Rebekah off as his sister (like father,like son), how Rebekah helped Jacob deceive Isaac, how Laban deceived Jacob and Jacob married two sisters and played favorites, how Rebekah deceived Laban, how...well, you get the gist--lots of deception. Not very pretty stories, huh?

Kind of makes you wonder why God chose these people, doesn't it? They make my family look like saints.

But chose them is exactly what He did...over and over again. "The Lord said to Abram, 'Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed'" (Genesis 12:1-3, ESV). And He reminds them of this choosing in chapters 13, 15, 17, 18, 22, 26, 28, and many other times that I haven't gotten to yet in my reading.

Out of all the people in the world, God chose this crazy, messed up, messing up family to be His, set apart to belong to Him and do His work, to be a blessing to the rest of the world. And through the waters of Baptism, we are adopted into this family. Galatians 3:29 tells us, "And if you are Christ's then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise."

My husband's take on all this: God loves us and uses us even when our families aren't perfect.

Heavenly Father, my family isn't perfect, and you know that better than anyone. Thank you for loving us and using us anyway. Lead us to be faithful to you that we might be a blessing to others. In Jesus' name, Amen.

It's Who God Is, or "It's Not You, It's Me"

"Therefore say to the house of Israel, 'Thus says the Lord God: "I do not do this for your sake, O house of Israel, but for My holy name's sake, which you have profaned among the nations wherever you went. And I will sanctify My great name, which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst; and the nations shall know that I am the Lord," says the Lord God, "when I am hallowed in you before their eyes. For I will take you from among the nations, gather you out of all countries, and bring you into your own land. Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. Then you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; you shall be My people, and I will be your God. I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses. I will call for the grain and multiply it, and bring no famine upon you. And I will multiply the fruit of your trees and the increase of your fields, so that you need never again bear the reproach of famine among the nations." Ezekiel 36:22-30 (NKJV)

"It's not you, it's me"...the classic breakup line. I once was broken up with by someone using if not those exact words then something to their effect. I may have even used them myself once. Maybe you've heard them or used them, too--if not in a breakup then perhaps in some other context. They do make for an easy, supposedly "nice" excuse to get out of something or to let ourselves off the hook. But we all know what those words really mean: it is you, but I don't want to make you feel any worse.

In these verses from Ezekiel, God says something to the effect of "It's not you, it's me" to the nation of Israel, but here it's not a breakup but a reconciliation...not an excuse but a reason. Israel has turned away from God, and so God has allowed them to be taken into captivity and exiled from the land he promised them. In their captivity, they have continued to disobey God and turn away from Him, and so they have profaned His name among the nations. In a sense, they've made a laughing-stock of God, and that's something God isn't willing to let stand.

So He makes this promise to them: He will take them out of captivity and restore them to their own land. He will wash away all their uncleanness and make them increase and know abundance. He will soften their hearts and put His spirit in them. He will be their God, and they will be His people. He will lavish love upon them.

And all this is not because of anything Israel has done--rather, it's in spite of what they've done. It's because of who God is. "It's not you, it's me," God says to Israel, and He says it to us, too. It's not because of who you are that God lavishes His love upon you, but because of who He is. It's because of who He is that He reconciles us to Himself and gives us His spirit.

I find it comforting to know that God loves me because of who He is rather than who I am. I don't always feel very loveable or worthy of such lavish attention, and beyond feelings, I know I am not worthy of such love. But He loves me anyways.

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! (1 John 3:1)

In your prayer time today, reflect on the ways God has shown His love for you even when you don't deserve it. Give thanks and praise to Him for showing that love through His son, Jesus.

Silent Night

It's 7:30 in the morning as I write this, and I just put my son back in his crib after feeding him. I usually go back to bed myself and try to get a little more sleep before starting my day. But this time it took a little longer than usual to get him to go back to sleep. He's one month old today, but I think he knows that if he doesn't go to sleep right away I'll just hold and rock him, and we both like those quiet times. Yesterday was an unusually fussy day for him, so this morning's quiet moment was especially nice.

With Advent coming to a close and Christmas just a few days away, and with a brand new baby in my arms, I can't help but think of Mary holding her little one.

The Bible tells of Jesus' birth in such simple language: "While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them" (Luke 2:6-7).

I imagine it was a lot more complicated than that. The birth of a child is a complicated and messy thing, even today in hospitals. I can't imagine doing it the way Mary did...in a stable with no help. I imagine it wasn't an especially silent night, at least not at first. The noises of a woman in labor, the sounds of restless animals disturbed by the woman's noises, the cries of a baby pushed suddenly into a world much bigger and colder than the one it had known...no, it could not have been very quiet.

The silence and stillness would have come later, when the animals had quieted, when Joseph slept and Mary, exhausted but too full of wonderment to sleep, held her sleeping newborn son.

I am in awe of my child--how much more so she must have been, holding "the maker of the moon...the author of the faith that could make the mountains move." Did she know what the future would bring? I think she knew she held the Messiah, but did she know what that really meant?

Do we know, today, what that really means, or does that get lost in the not-so-silent moments that invade this time of year? The child whose birth we celebrate is our Messiah, our Savior--God become man, who took our sins on Himself and paid our debt so that we could have eternal life with Him. This is no little thing. It is something to wonder and marvel at, and to praise God for! Take a moment to reflect on this and to give thanks to God, and for today's prayer, read the words of this hymn:

Let all mortal flesh keep silence,
And with fear and trembling stand;
Ponder nothing earthly minded,
For with blessing in His hand,
Christ our God to earth descendeth
Our full homage to demand.

King of kings, yet born of Mary,
As of old on earth He stood,
Lord of lords, in human vesture,
In the body and the blood;
He will give to all the faithful
His own self for heavenly food.

Rank on rank the host of heaven
Spreads its vanguard on the way,
As the Light of light descendeth
From the realms of endless day,
That the powers of hell may vanish
As the darkness clears away.

At His feet the six winged seraph,
Cherubim with sleepless eye,
Veil their faces to the presence,
As with ceaseless voice they cry:
Alleluia, Alleluia
Alleluia, Lord Most High!

Waiting

For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
it will surely come; it will not delay. (Habakkuk 2:3)

I am waiting. At this point, there's really nothing else I can do. We have just over a week until baby's due date, and everything (as far as I know) is ready. I've learned all I can stand to learn about labor and delivery; baby's room is ready with all the furniture, gear, gadgets, and clothes we can pack into it; and thanks to my mom, we have about two weeks' worth of meals in our freezer. The only thing I can think of to do yet is pack a bag for the hospital, and the only reason I haven't done that is because I need to have something to do.

When I know exactly when something is going to happen, I don't mind the waiting so much. But when something could happen at any time, waiting is mind-numbing. The days seem so long, and the nights...the nights wouldn't be so bad if I could just sleep, but every time I have to get up or every time my aching body wakes me up and I have to change to a (slightly) more comfortable position, all I can do is wonder how much longer until baby comes. So. I'm waiting.

I know Advent is still several weeks away, but at this time of year, my thoughts to another great waiting. Just as the Israelites of the Old Testament waited for their promised Savior, so we today wait for the return of our Savior. I wonder: what do we do to prepare for His coming? In the same way that we prepare a room for a new baby, do we prepare our hearts for Jesus' return? Are we engaged in His Word, growing in our faith, and sharing His good news with others?

Habakkuk reminds us that the time will come, it will not delay. The promise of a Savior was fulfilled in Jesus, and His promise to return to us will also be fulfilled. We can rest assured in this promise, and in another--when we grow impatient or forgetful or self-reliant, we have the promise that God loves us still and forgives us. What an amazing God we have, who keeps His promises to us!

Father, as we wait for your return, keep us mindful that you fulfill your promises. Keep us steadfast in our waiting. Even so, we ask that you come quickly, Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Victory!

I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. (John 11:25-26)

For today's devotion, a song:


The lyrics:
Let no one caught in sin remain
Inside the lie of inward shame
We fix our eyes upon the cross
And run to Him who showed great love

And bled for us
Freely You've bled for us

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Beneath the weight of all our sin
You bowed to none but heaven's will
No scheme of hell, no scoffer's crown
No burden great can hold You down

In strength You reign
Forever let Your church proclaim

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
The glory of God has defeated the night

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
Our God is not dead, He's alive, He's alive

I first heard this song this past summer when my husband and I spent a week at Lutheran Valley Retreat in Colorado. My husband was the "sherpa" for the week and led Bible studies for the summer staff. Before Bible study time every day, they spent several minutes singing, and this seemed to be one of their favorite songs. It became one of my favorites. There was so much joy in their voices and on their faces as they sang it, and that's what I remember most.

Perhaps this song would be more appropriate for tomorrow, All Saints Day, as we remember our loved ones who have died and woken again because of Christ's victory over death. But it's a victory we share in, even now. We have died in our sins, but because Jesus bled and died for us, we are alive in Him, and we can stand in His light.

Today in your prayers, take some time to celebrate His victory and to praise and thank our Father for the victory and the life He has given us.

Fear Not - Wait for the Lord!

I try not to let myself think about my fears too often. You see, I have an over-active imagination, and it doesn’t take much for something to be blown completely out of proportion in my mind. When I was growing up, I babysat my little brothers a lot, and if my parents were late getting home, I’d sit waiting for them and imagining all the things that could have happened to them and what I would do if they died and I had to raise my little brothers. Sometimes, I’d follow these fears around in my head so long that I ended up crying as though something had actually happened.

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

I still have that habit of letting my imagination run away with itself. It’s something I have to work to control, especially when the fears are unfounded.

But sometimes, I have very real fears. (And I have to work even harder to control my imagination with these fears.) These days, most of my fears have to do with the baby. It's a rather active child... What if it gets tangled up in the umbilical cord and we have to do an emergency c-section? It happened with my goddaughter; she was born eight weeks early and almost six years later still has some serious health issues. Another friend recently had a baby 13 weeks early. We only have six and a half weeks to go, but problems could still show up. And what about after the baby comes? I have loads of fears about motherhood, and like I said, I have an overactive imagination.

When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.
Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me
yet I will be confident.

I have a very dear friend who, earlier this year, had a seizure in the middle of the night. Scans and tests revealed a lesion or cyst on her brain. They faced a big decision: undergo surgery to remove the cyst or go on medication to manage the seizures. Either decision was and still is scary. And though they've decided against surgery at this point, I know she and her family continue to have a lot of fears. But I also know that they rest secure in the knowledge of God’s love and mercy.

One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.
For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.
I believe I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!

Fear is always going to be a part of our lives. It comes from living in a sinful, fallen world. It’s easy to get caught up in our fears, to let our imaginations over-power our trust in God. But fear and sin is not the end of our stories. In John 16:33, Jesus says, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we have complete confidence that sin and fear are defeated. And even when our fears attempt to overwhelm us, we can rest in the peace that God gives us.

Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
(Psalm 27: 1-5, 13 ESV)

Father, give me courage and peace when I am afraid or when I face problems that threaten to overwhelm me. Be my strength when I have none. Thank you for being my light and my salvation. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Sufficient Grace

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Pregnancy makes me feel like a wimp. With only seven weeks to go, my body can no longer do the things it used to be able to do. I can just barely get my feet close enough to my hands to tie my shoes. If I squat to dig something out of the fridge or the back of a cabinet, I have a hard time standing back up. Walking around the mall wears me out and makes my hips and back hurt for a couple days. I'm not sleeping well because I can't get comfortable because no matter what position I lay in, I can't breathe very well. (Of course, the breathing thing isn't helped by the fact that I have a cold right now.) And then there's all the uncontrollable crying...

But I don't think this is the kind of boasting in weaknesses that Paul was talking about (it is, after all, more of a rant than a boasting), but this verse does resonate with me right now. In the verses preceding 2 Corinthians 12:9, he mentions a thorn in the flesh, and in the previous chapter he talks about being beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, in danger, sleepless, hungry, thirsty, and cold. (Hmm..sleepless and hungry? I can definitely relate to that! And when the baby moves just right, I feel like I'm being beaten from the inside....)

All of Paul's trials and weaknesses happened so that the power of Christ would be seen in him, and so that God's grace would be sufficient--would be enough. God's grace was all Paul needed. "My grace is sufficient for you," God said in response to Paul's prayer that the thorn in his flesh would be removed.

And His grace is sufficient for me, even as my body gets more unwieldy and less comfortable, and as my fears about mothering grow (more sleepless nights along with sleepless days?!). I find myself leaning more on these words, and reminding myself of them. "My grace is sufficient for you."

What trials are you going through? What makes you feel weak right now? God's grace is sufficient for you, too. Even when everything in life seems like too much to deal with, God's grace is unchanging and is always with you.

Father, some days are harder than others. Some days I feel so weak and inadequate. It is on those days, during those times, that I rest in your grace. Carry me through and be my strength. Let your grace be enough for me. In Jesus' name, Amen.