I Want This Life!

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them. Psalm 139:13-16

It’s a conversation most, if not all, expectant parents have as they share the news of their new baby with friends and family. It goes something like this.

“We have an announcement to make. We’re having a baby!”

“Oh, how wonderful! Congratulations! Do you want a boy or a girl?”

“We would be happy with either one, as long as it’s healthy.”

Those last words caught my attention as I talked with a friend who was getting ready to deliver her baby, and I remembered saying this very thing each time I was carrying one of my own children. “As long as it’s healthy.” We say it without even thinking about our response. It’s almost an automatic reaction to the question asked of us; an expected reflex. And while it is the desire of every parent to give birth to a healthy child, is “As long as it’s healthy,” what we truly mean? Does our happiness with the gift that God has bestowed upon us depend on whether or not our baby is healthy? Is a baby born with medical needs not just as much of a miracle and a blessing as a healthy newborn?

A friend delivered a beautiful little girl and minutes later heard a diagnosis of a disease that would quickly destroy her little girl’s body. “Healthy” wasn’t a term she would ever use to describe her daughter. Still, the happiness her parents felt in the presence of this gift of God, and this visible sign of His grace, was not dependant on, “As long as she’s healthy.” It was dependant on the promises of the God that had given her life on this earth, new life in baptism, and the promise of life eternal. Her parents spent only a few months with their daughter. God’s grace was abundant with his child every minute of her life here on earth. God’s grace abounds even more so as they await the promised resurrection.

When my Godson was born, his parents were surprised to find out he had several health concerns they were unaware of before his birth. He was born with a club foot, a cleft palate, and news from the doctors that he showed signs of several other potential, and possibly life threatening health problems. We still danced for joy at the news of his birth. We still called everyone we knew to announce his arrival. We were happy, not because of the challenges that he and his parents would face over the next several months, but because of the faithfulness of God to give him life. He is now a very active and yes, healthy, four year old. We value his life each day, not just because of the gift, but in thanks to the Giver.

In a world where the value of life is losing ground to a “pick and choose” medical industry, be reminded mothers-to-be, that the babies growing inside your bellies have value, not because they are perfect in our eyes, but because through Christ they are perfect in the eyes of our Creator. Do you want a boy or a girl? I want this life!

Creator of Life,

I am constantly in awe of your ability to create new and unique life with every passing moment. Help my love of your creation grow each day. Work in my children so that they may know too that they were fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you, God for my new life in baptism and my promised life with you forever in heaven. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Fearful and Wonderful

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you... (Jeremiah 1:5)

When I was a child my parents were very active in pro-life organizations. They took my brothers and I on marches and pulled us with them when they spoke at various churches on the sanctity of life. I grew up hearing the above verse from Jeremiah over and over again, along with the verses from Psalm 139:13-16. I went with my mom to her doctor's appointments when she was pregnant with my two youngest brothers, I saw the posters in the doctor's office that charted a baby's development. We even had little plastic models showing what a baby looked like at various stages of development. I learned very early on how amazing and miraculous a new life is.

Now that I'm expecting my own little one, I'm learning it all over again, and it's even more amazing to me now.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mothers womb. (Psalm 139:13)

Two weeks ago, my baby was about the size of my fist. This week it's about the size of my open hand. The little one is growing so fast. Last week the bones in its ears were formed enough that it could hear the sound of my voice. This week it can hear other loud sounds...like its father's voice as he leans over my belly and says, "Hi, baby. I love you and can't wait to see you!"

My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. (Psalm 139: 15)

Last week I felt my baby move for the first time. One afternoon I had the hiccups, and after every hiccup, I felt a little tap...a kick, or a thump, or a startled bump. Whatever baby was doing, I have a feeling it didn't appreciate my hiccups. And again, just a couple days ago I was talking to someone on the phone, and baby started moving. I think it was responding to the sound of my voice, which is a pretty amazing thought. As I write this, I can feel the baby doing something that feels kind of like somersaults.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them. (Psalm 139:16)

In a week I have my first sonogram and will get to see baby for the first time...and it will be a very formed, human-shaped substance that I will see. But God has known this baby since before it was formed. And God has written days for this baby. And even though I don't know the baby's name yet, God knows it, and He loves this little child and has redeemed this little one I am loving more and more each day.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139: 14)

My little one is a wonderful work and child of God. I want to meditate on these thoughts now, to allow them to soak in so that I don't forget them later...like during the long nights I know are coming when baby just won't go to sleep and all I want to do is cry or yell...or when baby is older and has learned the words "no" and "mine"...when the "terrible twos" take over and turn my sweet little baby into a tantrum thrower...and much later when he or she is a teenager and I suddenly become a mom who doesn't know anything in his or her eyes. Even in the difficult times, I want to be able to remember how much I love this little one, and how much more our heavenly Father loves it, and how He has made this wonderful little being and knows the days that are written for it.

Heavenly Father, You created me and all my days. You know me inside and out, and You know my child inside and out, as well. And despite all You know about me and the ways that I have messed up the wonderful creation You meant for me to be, You still love me. The same is true for my child and for the other children I hope to have one day. You love this little one of mine, and I know there will be days that will try my patience, so I ask You to always remind me of Your great love for me and for my child. In Jesus' name, Amen.