For by grace you have been saved by faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:8-10
Decisions. Forks in the road. Endeavors. Turning points. There was a time I considered myself a snappy decision maker. Go with it and deal with it was my philosophy. Now, as a mother, the decisions with which I am faced linger in my mind. They traverse through all my brain's synapses. They try on and play out different scenarios. They tease me, for as soon as I am ready to grasp onto a solid choice, the alternative pops up out of nowhere forcing me to reconsider. They sometimes have a late night party in my head, hindering my sweet slumber.
Our son is starting kindergarten next year, and I, the mommy, have been bestowed with the task of figuring out his placement. Public school, private school, classical curriculum, homeschool, buy some hogs and sew some seeds and start a commune? Okay, maybe I'm getting carried away here.
I have prayed, meditated on scripture, and prayed about which school is the best fit for our family. I have tried to feel the Holy Spirit's guidance on the direction we should take. The above verses in Ephesians have provided me with clarity but not a direct answer. Yes, I realize these scriptures have nothing to do with decision making. That's what I needed- a break from focusing too much on this decision. I needed perspective. What matters most in life is that Christ died and rose for us. You see, there are certain moral choices in life about which God is very clear. When faced with these decisions, I can pick up His Holy Word and know with all certainty what He desires. Then there are decisions that are simply ours to make in this life He has given us. If I remember that my son is God's "workmanship" no matter where he goes to school; if I teach him to walk in confidence, knowing that God lovingly gave him the "gift" of salvation; if we pray together that God would lead us to the "good works he prepared for us", then we can go forth in assurance. Well, I still don't know where my son is going to kindergarten next year, but the turmoil in my mind has been put to rest. I've decided to replace my obsessive pondering with a renewed focus on Christ in every part of our life.
Dear God, thank you for blessing us with choices in life. Help us to remain ever so focused on You and Your Son, Jesus Christ, that we may "walk in the good works You have prepared for us." Amen.