Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation, and my God....
By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.
Psalm 42: 5, 8
Because of a recent move, I've had to change doctors just as I'm getting ready for the beginning of my third trimester. On Monday of this week I had my first appointment with my new doctor (who is actually an old doctor I'm returning to). Due to some miscommunication between people at the new office and mistakes made by people at the old doctor's office, I was not able to see my new doctor. I found myself crying in the doctor's office and unable to make it stop. I'm sure they deal with pregnant women's hormones all the time, but it was still embarrassing. I'm not usually one to cry so easily.
But I've been crying easily a lot these days. It just seems like the slightest thing sets me off. Something doesn't go my way - tears. Someone corrects a mistake I've made - tears. My husband doesn't compliment my cooking - tears. Someone smiles at me and asks how my day is going - yep, tears again. It's driving me crazy.
I know this is most likely just a pregnancy hormone thing. But I also know that even when I'm not pregnant, there are things that can get me down (even if they don't make me cry uncontrollably). A job I thought I'd get falls through...a friend or family member says something critical or hurtful...there's too much laundry or house cleaning to do...I can't seem to find the time to do all the things I need to do... And I find myself feeling down or disheartened.
Why are you cast down, O my soul? the Psalmist asks, and it's a question that feels familiar because I've been there. Haven't you been there, too? But the Psalmist turns from this dark question to words of hope. For I shall again praise him, my salvation, and my God. We are given a reason to praise: God is our salvation. He is our hope. He is our love during the day and our song in the night. He is our prayer even when we don't know what to pray. And there is great comfort in this.
Heavenly Father, I feel a little crazy and not myself sometimes. I feel disheartened by the things that happen during the day and I let those things get me down and I forget to rely on your promises. But you are good and loving and comforting, and I praise you for that. Thank you for being bigger than my disappointments and for restoring me to joy. In Jesus' name, Amen.